Injuries For 07/05/18

Going into this week’s column, I want to confess… I am pretty darn hung over. In the paragraphs that follow there is likely to be a lot of ranting, ambiguity, and… well… more ranting. So pretty much par for the course I guess. But less hydrated.


Mid-week Madness!

Who do you call when a Firetruck breaks down? Can you pass on the number to the Suns? The Firetruck himself, Brayden Fiorini was not named on Thursday, with the club citing a leg injury. I have no idea how a truck can have a leg injury.

Prognosis – No fire – 2-3 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – The Suns don’t have many decent waiver options out there, so all I’m suggesting… as a pickup… is Brayden Crossley’s mum. If you watched it… you get it. Otherwise I would be lowballing Fiorini owners for a trade.


Tom Lynch (handsome) has had what seems like a recurrence of a leg injury that prematurely ended his 2018, and that is likely the reason his form hasn’t been great this year. He has been ruled out for the next 4-5 weeks, which means we may get more of Crossley’s mum. On the plus side, this guy is playing to get offered a mega-contract next year, so when he is back expect him to drop a few tons.

Prognosis – No Honey Chicken – 4-5 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – Expect some of the smaller forwards like Ainsworth, Young and Martin to carry the scoring burden over the next few weeks, with Young dropping 101 on the weekend. I wouldn’t be going near them with a 10 foot pole though.


In what I can only assume is the first time in the history of the game, a second player has been struck down by a dreaded INFECTED FINGER! Last week it was the Trac, this week Steven May has gone down. I’m excited to see who cops it next.

Prognosis – No Touchy – 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – Back next week, no waiver action here.


Whilst I’m on the Suns, what’s going on with the haircuts and moustaches? People who have a good stache and a bit of a mullet are usually doing it ironically… but no one on the Gold Coast does anything ironically. In fact, no one does anything at all. Wait… yes, they do. Drugs. I don’t know where I am going with this.

Prognosis – Mattingly I told you to shave those sideburns!


That actually proved a pretty good segway somehow, because up next is Mark “Bonga” Thompson. Look I know this is a bit of a touchy subject, the guy has clearly gone down a path and needs some help back but expect him to be out (of his mind) for the season.

Prognosis – Move to the Goldy – Season


Charlie Curnow has been a bit of a surprise packet this year, with an outstanding average of 85. Unfortunately for owners he suffered an ankle injury and was ruled out this week.

Prognosis – 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – They brought in Nick Graham, who did a whole bunch of Nick Graham things and won’t hold his spot. The guy looks like he moves in slow motion, and not in a good way. Curnow will be back in round 8, no waiver pick-up here.


After only just returning from injury, Carlton ruled out Caleb Marchbank for the week due to the same ankle injury sustained earlier in the year. He is expected to play next week, and if he can string some games together he could be a bit of a smokey.

Prognosis – 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – He will play next week, no waiver action here.


I don’t know about you, but there are often players in teams that score pretty darn well, but when you watch the game itself you have no idea how they are accumulating. For me one of those is Shaun Grigg. Accordingly, I have no idea if this is a big loss for the Tigers or not… But… I hope it is. The rumour is that this is a pretty run-of-the-mill hamstring whomp.

Prognosis – 2-3 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – The Lambo is worth a look, with midfield minutes likely to increase. Keep an eye on the VFL to track Bellis.


Brett Deledio has been amazing over the last two weeks. He would have been a steal in any draft, and any owner that took the risk was being rewarded. And boy were they smug. They were so smug with their smug faces. With comments like “I knew he was going to get back to his best.” Welp, not any more. Lids is back to his soft tissue nightmare with a minor hammy whomp.

Prognosis – 2-3 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – They didn’t give him a debut this week, but expect Aiden Bonar next week, after the Giants copped an absolute shellacking.


For weeks everyone in the football public knew that Jeremy Cameron was playing with a sore toe. I don’t know how it took them this long, but the Giants finally decided to give him the rest he needs and admit the toe injury is a thing.

Prognosis – 2 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – I would be targeting Rory Lobb as a trade or grabbing him off the waiver if he is available. If trading, try and get him on the cheap – he had a very limited preseason and can’t seem to stay fit.


Someone who is finally coming good down at Melbourne had a bad break *snicker* this week, with Christian Salem copping a broken thumb. He started the year terribly as he was trying to find his feet as a midfielder, but a handy last 3 of 87 meant he was worthy of selection in most backlines.

Prognosis – 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – He will be back next week – no waiver here


Every year, someone mentions something once, and then the footy media just take it and run with it. Since round one, the media has been portraying the Optus Stadium as this horribly dangerous beast that will break feet and ankles at will. And for all the talk there have been what… four injuries? This week Dom Sheed was ruled out with a foot injury and the talk started again.

Prognosis – Happy Etihad ground staff – 2 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – When he plays, he generally tags, but Mark Hutchings is proving that he can accumulate at the same time. Might be worth a punt on your bench.


Don’t even get me started on the media latching on to congestion and low scores.


Cats vs Giants

Scott (happy) made a comment after the game that his senior players really stood up. From a purely statistical perspective, Danger and co were awful. They were just extremely lucky to be playing a NEAFL side.


Geelong’s entire backline is held together by a piece of string and Conor Mcgregor, so when Jed Bews went off clutching his shoulder in the last quarter, Cats fans everywhere got a little worried.

Prognosis – 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – Jack Henry is proving to be an absolute ripper in Defence, with his best score yet of 96. Could be a good speccy.


As a metaphor for the Giants day, Dylan Shiel got stomped on by Scooter, and left the field for a pedicure, before returning to play out the game.

Prognosis – soft skin – no issue

Potential Waiver Pickup – No waiver here


Dogs vs Suns

The Bont was a late withdrawal this week with hip soreness after playing his first good game of the year last week. Can’t really blame the guy, he has been holidaying in the forward line and isn’t used to having to do stuff.

Prognosis – No issue


The heir to the lucrative toothpaste manufacturer, Toby Mclean proved tough as nails when he got bumped in to next year by new kid on the block Brayden Crossley. He latched to his shoulder and went to the bench in pain, eventually returning to play out the game. Keep an eye on this one.

Prognosis – 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – Mitch Honeychurch or Caleb Daniel could benefit from a lack of toothpaste.


Similarly, Matt Rosa (remember him?) left the field with shoulder concerns and returned after it was strapped. Keep an eye on it.

Prognosis – 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – Is it weird if I mention Brayden Crossley’s mum again? It is? Well… take a look at Brayden Crossley……………….’s mum.


Bombers vs Hawks

When did back spasms become so prominent? Last two or three weeks have seen multiple people pull out at the last minute before the game as a result of back spasms, and the latest was Will Langford.

Prognosis – No issue

Potential Waiver Pickup – will be back next week, no waiver here.


The Hawks had a more challenging day before they started playing than they did in the actual game, with Hendo suffering a severe case of GTS (Got the shits). I expect him to be walking funny for the next couple of days, because you know when you wipe a lot and it starts feeling like sandpaper? Yeh. That.

Prognosis – Triple ply – no issue.


Eagles vs Power

Now i’m not saying injuries are funny but watching Luke Shuey collapse on his face as a result of a hammy whomp was hilarious. Another for the Benny Hill reel. Can someone start compiling this?

Prognosis – 2-4 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – As mentioned, Mark Hutchings laid a game high 10 tackles for a score of 126. Could be worth a look. If Jack Redden is sitting on your FA, grab him now.


Swans vs Roos

With a name similar to Ty Vickery, there were always going to be questions about the capability of Ed Vickers-Willis. On Saturday night, he sure lived up to the Vickery reputation, by colliding heavily with a post for no reason.

Prognosis – Vickery-Willis – 2-4 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – Oscar Junker probably gets a look in this week. Would take some serious brass to bring him in to your side. Otherwise they will grab that other hyphen bloke, Luke Davies-Vickers-Willis-Uniacke.


Blues vs Crows

The whompiest team in the comp suffered another whomp, with Wayne Milera going down. It isn’t set in stone that this is a hammy, it is actually behind the knee so could be just about anything. After many of us brought him off the waiver this week (including me) it was a bit of a disappointment. If it is a hammy, that makes it 8 in 7 weeks for the Crows. Whomp whomp.

Prognosis – 2-4 weeks (pending severity)

Potential Waiver Pickup – Pending how the Crows reshuffle their line-up to accommodate Tex and Sloane, there may be no relevant pickup. If anything, Curtley Hampton, though he hasn’t exactly been setting the SANFL on fire.


Levi Casboult got rocked (closest I could get to “rock the casboult.” I have brought shame on my family) by Doedee in the last quarter, which resulted in the big fella heading to the hospital. He has fractured his rib, which has disturbed the lining of a lung. I’m expecting my prognosis to be as accurate as he kicks though, lungs are a tricky thing.

Prognosis – Spotify > Churches: Lungs – 4 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – Caleb and Charlie will come back in, with the latter shouldering the key forward responsibilities. As a smokey, follow Darcy Lang in the VFL.


Lachie Plowman suffered the most unusual injury of the week, a corkie to his “driving muscle.” Brilliant. Great excuse to shank the DD responsibilities.

Prognosis – No driving – No issue

Potential Waiver Pickup – will be back next week, no waiver here.


Tigers vs Dockers

Before the game, the best mane in the AFL was withdrawn due to a very rare bad hair day. Reports have said that Hardwick gave Trent Cotchin until today to get his American Crew, however it didn’t arrive. He is also in some doubt for next week with a lingering knee issue, which I can only assume was suffered when he noticed he was out of product.

Prognosis – Bed hair – No issue

Potential Waiver Pickup – will be back next week, no waiver here.


Dion Prestia, the little nugget, finished the game with icing on his calf and is likely to miss a few. The guy has a history of soft tissue injuries which could prolong the recovery.

Prognosis – 6er with sweet and sour thanks – 2 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – Look for the Bellend to come back into the side after not being completely disappointing in the VFL. I still wouldn’t go near him.


Saints vs Melbourne

Shane Savage, or as we like to pronounce it, Savaghey, copped a knock to his ribs, in the final quarter and came from the ground. He has been in fantastic form this year, though has slide a little since Webby came back last week.

Prognosis – 1 weeks

Potential Waiver Pickup – Blake Acres shouldn’t be available on your waiver, though he will slot in next week. Jack Sinclair is a likely inclusion as well.


Paddy McCartin aka Amnesia Man will likely miss next week, either through being omitted or what has been termed “whiplash”. He collided heads with Neville Jetta in the second quarter and was slow to get up, eventually playing on for a little bit. Given his history, which he actually can’t remember, it is in his best interest to have a rest. He was having an absolute mare prior to this anyway

Prognosis – Both may miss 1 week

Potential Waiver Pickup – Do yourself a favour and stay far away from the Saints forward line. If you can even call it that.


Pies vs Lions

Easily the match of the round here, and I got to see my number two draft Taylor Adams come back from injury and completely forget how to football. At one-point Chris Mayne had more tackles. I also expected to be writing about Dayne Zorko, who legitimately exploded, there were bits of him everywhere. It was gruesome. He managed to reform however and finish out the game for a lazy one-billion fantasy points.


Scott Pendlebury went off multiple times through the game, and finally gave in to an ankle injury in the third quarter. He will likely have scans, that will in fact prove that he is no longer dependable.

Prognosis – 2-4 weeks (pending severity)

Potential Waiver Pickup – If he is there, grab yourself some Daniel Wells. He will come in next week and will be great for three games before he retires from a soft tissue injury.