Coming to you LIVE from BrisVegas, where the only casino is a total piece of shit, with a blackjack table minimum of 25 bucks. Get fucked, Treasury.

Pies vs Power

I knew he was trouble when he hobbled off, so shame on me nah uh. That’s right, TayTay looks to have suffered a groin injury in the third quarter, and it spells trouble, trouble, trouble.

  • Prognosis – 4-6 weeks
  • Relevant waiver – Have a look to see if anyone has dropped Chris Mayne or James Aish. Both will be serviceable, and both a chance to come back in this week.
TayTay sighted on the bench post groin injury

That Brad Ebert copped a nasty spinning elbow to the jaw and looked quite dazed after it. Well this week he was knocked in a marking contest and looked about the same, however was unable to continue.

  • Prognosis – 1 week
  • Relevant waiver – Trenners or Motlop to come in, but neither are a long term option.

Hawks vs Demons

Isaac Smith is the only concern coming from this one – leaving the ground in the fourth quarter with a foot complaint. The Hawks have officially reported no injury issues, but I would keep an eye on this one.

  • Prognosis – Watch it like a… HAWK ((Canned laughter))
  • Relevant waiver – No-one… yet

Giants vs Saints

It was announced late in the week that Jack Steven will be taking a break to deal with wellbeing issues. Will be out for an extended period.

  • Prognosis – TBC
  • Relevant waiver – The saints were massacred through the middle – look for Luke Dunstan, or maybe even Ammo to come in to bolster their midfield.

In rounds 1-3 this year, knee’s were getting absolutely smashed left right and centre. ACL over here, PCL over there, medial somewhere else. It was absolute carnage. We never one thought, that the knee’s would become sentient, and fight back. In the fourth such instance over the last 2 rounds, another sudden knee attack occurred on Adam Kennedy, leaving the entire football community wondering… who’s next…

  • Prognosis – 1 week
  • Relevant waiver – Harry Perryman made it through his NEAFL comeback unscathed. He didn’t set the world on fire, but you would have to think he will come back in. If you’re after a speculative in defence this year, he may be your guy. Statesman basically won’t shut up about him. Or shut up in general

Aiden Corr rolled his ankle late in the game, and didn’t return. Owned by 0%, I really don’t think I need to devote any more time to it

  • Prognosis – 3-4 weeks
  • Relevant waiver – Both Phil Davis and Lachie Whitfield need to fit back in the side

Swans vs Lions

Everyone’s favourite waiver pick up, dual position gaining defender Harry Cunningham has suffered a groin injury which looked identical to the aforementioned TayTay injury. Will be having scans early in the week to check the severity, though I wouldn’t expect him back earlier than 4 weeks.

  • Prognosis – 4-6 weeks
  • Relevant waiver – Ryan Clarke or Colin O’Riordan look the most likely to get the call up, but both Buddy and Dan Menzel will go close to coming into the side as well

Dogs vs Tigers

First time appearance for the one, the only, JESUS CHRIST after his draft chances were dealt a shocking blow, being told he had absolutely buckley’s chance of matching up on Aaron Naughton.

  • Prognosis – On the third mark he shall rise.
  • Relevant waiver – Satan
Jesus: Fuck you dimma you little bitch, i’ll cut you.

Both Nick Vlaustin and Daniel Rioli looked a little worse for wear after a rolled ankle and knock respectively. Both managed to play out the game, but I would consider them both a potential risk for next week.

  • Prognosis – No issue… yet
  • Relevant waiver – Dan Atsbury for Vlaustin if he misses, and either Butler or Wellar for Rioli – wouldn’t be touching any of them though.

Eagles vs Suns

No real concerns for next week here, with both Brad ‘Avocado’ Shephard and Tom Hickey expected to play next week.

Roos vs Carlton

I guess we learned that North can actually win a game, if the opposition has absolutely no defence.

After already losing Kade Simpson and Nic Newman, Carlton lost Liam Jones in the third quarter to a concussion.

  • Prognosis – 1 week
  • Relevant waiver – Hugh Goddard was again good in the two’s and may see a debut. Setterfield will also likely come back in – but hasn’t shown enough to warrant even a speccy.

Some sort of groin party going on this week too, with Scott Thompson joining TayTay and Cunningham, with groin/adductor issues. Pretty certain old Dossy’s keen on groin parties.

  • Prognosis – 4-6 weeks
  • Relevant waiver – Ben Mckay I guess? Yeesh. Just steer clear please.

Cats vs Bombers

So Danger probably cost a bunch of people their weeks, after he copped both a knee and an ankle injury. He ended up playing out the game, but having absolutely no impact what-so-ever. Chris Scott believes he will play next week which really worries me. In 2017 he was far from his best for about 8 rounds whilst they played him through injury. Just take a week off ffs.

  • Prognosis – Lingering BS. Should take a week. Won’t. Gotta get them brownlow votes.
  • Relevant waiver – No-one.

THE KNEE STRIKES AGAIN! Joe Daniher’s knee completely consumed him, forcing him to commit a flying knee to the back of Esava Rutagolea’s head.

  • Prognosis – 1 week
  • Relevant waiver – Zac Smith, Darcy Fort, Wylie Buzza all in contention. None of them are worth a pick up, but all could impact Rhys Stanley’s scoring.
It’s.. TAKING… OVER!!!!

Dockers vs Crows

Both teams were able to get through this one unscathed, as the scores suggested they barely played a game of footy.