Well. Considering this is the Barney Gumble round – i’m taking this injury report in strange new places. Every injury has been written as a haiku.

Note: After reading, I promise to never do this ever again.

Served in a man’s Haiku

Bombers vs Swans

This game wasn’t great

Fantasia a quad strain

Will miss a few weeks

  • Prognosis – 3-4 Weeks
  • Waiver – Baguely likely to return. No this bit isn’t a haiku. Fantasia was official pronouncing btw

Dogs vs Lions

Zac Bailey suffered

A bit of a hammy whomp


  • Prognosis – 4-5 weeks
  • Waiver – Rhys Mathieson or Allen Christiensen will probably come in with a reshuffle

Blues vs Pies

Mayne suffered a kick

To the head from a team mate

Worst sidekick ever

  • Prognosis – 1 week
  • Waiver – James Aish, Dayne Beams, and MAYBE Brayden Sier all good chances

Josh Thomas hurt his

Ankle in a collision

Gonna lose his spot

  • Prognosis – 4-5 weeks
  • Waiver – As above

Suns vs Demons

Sean Lemmens ankle

just aint what it used to be

Bit of a lemon

  • Prognosis – 8 weeks
  • Waiver – Fiorini Fiorini Fiorini Fiorini, FI-O-RINI IS A GOAT

Michael Hibberd lol

He thought the bird is the word

It was not the word

  • Prognosis – 3 weeks
  • Waiver – Wagner I guess.. Jake Lever in 2 weeks though. Pick up and stash?

The Melkshake is a

Great nickname for the Melksham

4 weeks of no melk

  • Prognosis – 4-5 weeks
  • Waiver – Alex Neal-Bullen might get a better run – also might be worth a buy very low on Petracca

Saints vs West Coast

Both teams look to have

come through without injury

Still gets a haiku

Port vs Crows

Ryan Burton is

not playing on the wing like

jono said… so lol.

  • Prognosis – 3-4 weeks
  • Waiver – Hammy means old man Broadbent will keep running around, but Riley Bonner is where you should focus your waiver

Roos vs Cats

Number of issues

Atkins, Menegola and

Rohan should be ok

Hawks vs GWS

Jack Scrimshaw had a

migraine with bad blurred vision

He should be ok

Tigers vs Dockers

Nank the Tank got hurt

Stevie’s really big on him

How’s that going steve?

  • Prognosis – 6-8 weeks
  • Waiver – Ivan Soldo looks the most likely to replace him

Jack Ross has been great

For the offbrand format classic

Please dont stremple me

  • Prognosis – 6-8 weeks
  • Waiver – Rioli will come back in, with some of the other small forwards spending more time in the middle.