A lot of people would say that the injury report is late. A lot of people would be wrong. Ya boi Cam has been looking under every rock, searching every cranny to find all the tid-bits about the weekends injuries.

Lowkey I also thought that through the byes my fingers would get a damn rest, but all these goons out here acting like there’s a damn fire sale at the radiologist.

He blew himself.

And now that afl.com.au has already released their “official” injury list for the week, you can ignore that crap, and read the one and only REAL OFFICIAL INJURY LIST (OFFICIAL) (FOR REAL) – 320hz 1080p BlueRay

Crows vs Tigers

Lachie Murphy (the two different types of “ie” in this name DISGUST me) did his best Cletus “the slack jawed yokel” Splucker impersonation when he lost most of his front teeth. He played no further part in the game, and was instead seen playing the banjo on the bench, yelling at his wife Darlene.

  • Prognosis – 1 week
  • Waiver – will be back after the bye
Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Kaitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Qbert, and Phil.

Daniel Talia missed the second half with a quad complaint. Jake Kelly missed most of the fourth quarter with a calf complaint. Neither loss had any impact because at that stage Richmond weren’t going inside 50 anyways.

  • Prognosis – 1 week
  • Waiver – both will be back after the bye

Josh Jenkins went full Stretch Armstrong trying to soccer a ball off the deck – with his knee bending left-to-right rather than the conventional back to front. Classic Jenkins, always looking for a competitive advantage, adding new dimensions to his game.

  • Prognosis – 4-6 week
  • Waiver – GP Tom Lynch is raring to go after the bye
Josh Stretchkins. Wait… Stretch Jenkins. Wait… Josh Jenkstretch… We’ll just go with Stretchkins.

And after all this Gibbs still misses due to the bye. Ba bow.

Bombers vs Hawks

Jake Stringer almost got his leg broken in the third quarter, but is apparently not even ruled out of this week. I’m hearing he is expecting to get up – but if he misses look for Mitch Brown to come in.

Suns vs Saints

Sam Day grabbed at his hammy late in the fourth though news coming out of the club that he is they still think they traded him to Melbourne. Luckily his hamstring is not going to be an issue.

Dockers vs Power

No issues came from this game – except Stevie Fizz’s raw member, stroked into oblivion watching Walters tear it up.

Live footage of Fizz

Dogs vs Blues

Tom Libbra… Libera…Libberra… fck it. Libba suffered a knee injury which looked like a potential ACL. It was a Meniscus, which is less severe, but luckily enough for Macrae owners, it looks like it WILL keep him out for about 4 weeks, before shifting Macrae back to his 2019 random role in time for fantasy finals.

  • Prognosis – 4-6 weeks
  • Waiver – Taylor Duryea is likely to come in and force a reshuffle. Dear god – please don’t put Bailey Williams in the middle so we can keep hanging shit on Dos. Your pal, GHS.

Ed Curnow had some pain after rolling his ankle, and then more pain as his team was rolled by the dogs. Expect he will be fine after the bye.

Roos vs Giants

One of the most influential in fantasy Matt De Boer laid a ripping tackle, but damaged his shoulder as a result. Has been listed as 4-6 weeks, though don’t be surprised if this extends.

  • Prognosis – 4-6 weeks
  • Waiver – Hately or Aiden Bonar will likely get a run. Don’t be surprised to see someone like Taranto or Hopper assume the tagging role (if they deploy it).