Easter weekend is too much family and too many days of football. And when did fantasy footy become so laborious? Rolling lockouts, schedule analysis and paying close attention to game times… this is probably more relative to #offbrand matters but even my home-league mates voted for a full rolling lockout for our UF league in the last few years. To that, I say, “get a fuckin’ life.” 

Speaking of getting things, get these guys, right now! 

Jack Higgins (92 AF/103 SC) – FWD 

I sure as shit dropped him in a couple of leagues after his head knock, and he came back with scores that really told me where to go. It did take him 5 goals to get there, but the Saints are looking decent as of now and as Cam has stated ad nauseum, on-field forwards are scarce. 

Connor Rozee (113 AF/91 SC) – FWD

He moved to the middle in the third quarter and that’s precisely when Port made their move on Carlton – coincidence? Probably. But again, forward line quality is hard to find and you just have to take a risk-adjacent punt on Mr. Ball-Adjacent himself. 

Oleg Markov (85 AF/90 SC) – DEF

I’ll preface this by saying you should only use your waiver priority here if you’re starving for a defender. In saying that, he showed fantasy chops last year and he seems to have pushed the JAGuar, David Swallow, to a forward rotating role; could this be Markov’s mean? If you have a Jake Bowey type to drop, I’d wait a week,

Bailey Scott (79 AF/82 SC) – FWD/DEF

Well you didn’t need the power of premonition from the Final Destination series to see this one coming (awesome films if you haven’t seen them), but Aaron Hall got hurt and that means a plethora of points should be distributed amongst the Roos backs. Scott is one of those backs, but definitely keep an eye on teams this week to see if any Polec types get named in the backline. 

Luke McDonald (69 AF/76 SC) – MID

This move is for shallow leagues. McDonald has shown a lucrative fantasy game when given the opportunity in the past (playing a rebound role out of North’s defence). He’s listed as a mid in AF and SC but he will certainly get DEF status this week and with Hall down, you could be looking at your new D1 for some time. 

Tim Membrey (82 AF/85 SC) – FWD

He’s getting the upgrade from stream-teamer to waiver add this week. I like the look of the Saints right now and with GWS and Port in their crosshairs, Membrey could average 80-90 over the next 2 weeks, and be good for a 75 aveage thereafter. 

Trent Cotchin (84 AF/121 SC) – MID

Have you noticed the dearth of straight mids mentioned in this article thus far? Steve spoke of useful mids potentially being more valuable than useful defenders on the pod and as someone who cringes when I see DPPs playing in someone’s midfield, it’s got me thinking. Do we look to, for example, play Jack Crisp in the middle so we don’t have to play Chad Warner and instead field Steven May? Anyway, with regards to MID-only players, there ain’t much else other than Cotch out there in deeper leagues right now. 

Lachie Ash (86 AF/108 SC) – DEF/MID

I went to the GWS vs. Dees game and not only did I watch it closely, I heard it closely too, because fuck all people were there and the crowd were mute for a lot of it. Ash was playing on the ball a lot but in a less defensive role so if you’re in need of a back, I’d give him consideration. 

Here are the fake news scores of round 5 AKA the guys you should NOT use a waiver priority on:

Taylor Duryea (104 AF/102 SC) – DEF

He played North Melbourne (a plus matchup for Duryea’s kind) and won’t continue to get amongst the feasting as there are too many hungry dogs in the kennel. He didn’t score over 60 (AF) in the 3 games prior to this one.

Matthew Cottrell (94 AF/84 SC) – MID

Yeah look, I don’t know him either, but with Cripps out of the side and the strange omission of Lochie O’brien, there is zero certainty in this guy’s role in the Carlton team. This mystery-man is one you can leave on the wire. 

Nick Larkey (89 AF/94 SC) – FWD

The puzzling trend of ‘key forwards versus the Dogs’ continued here and Larkey was the Roos’ highest scoring AF player. The reality is, he’s a key forward and a crud team, and you just never know what you’ll get for him. 

Well I’m riding the vicarious high of Hawks fans as I conclude this piece and it really brightened up what was an otherwise glum Easter Monday in Melbourne. Winter is coming folks, and hopefully that means Touk Miller’s regulation tackle count will return with it, fuck! 

Get me at @lionelhutz4prez on Twitter or leave a comment. Tell me your adds and drops and let’s see if we can’t get Rozee back, eh?