Hello and welcome to an absolutely regulation injury report. The backlash from last weeks’ haiku edition has been swift, and the writer has been sacked. Unfortunately for The Draft Doctors, he’s the only guy that wants to write about it, and so he is back! and by he, I mean me! Suckers. Eagles vs Demons
Well. Considering this is the Barney Gumble round – i’m taking this injury report in strange new places. Every injury has been written as a haiku. Note: After reading, I promise to never do this ever again. Bombers vs Swans This game wasn’t great Fantasia a quad strain Will miss a few weeks Prognosis –
Coming to you LIVE from BrisVegas, where the only casino is a total piece of shit, with a blackjack table minimum of 25 bucks. Get fucked, Treasury. Pies vs Power I knew he was trouble when he hobbled off, so shame on me nah uh. That’s right, TayTay looks to have suffered a groin injury
Geez it feels SO GOOD to be back writing the injury report again after taking a sabbatical last week, getting myself sorted at the Betty Ford Clinic. More than anything though, i’m just glad that I can play super hero, preventing you, the weekly reader, from falling asleep while reading Jono’s fill-in article. Legit had
This week’s injury report is going to be short and sweet. The new season of Game of Thrones has started and I need to crack on through all prior seasons before starting this season and SOMEHOW avoid spoilers in the meantime. God help you if you spoil anything for me. Pre-meditative injury report add to
Crows vs Cats Obviously the first entrant on the list this week, the guy who looked like he could go anywhere from Def, to Mid, to Fwd and always manage to pick something up, THE MEDICAB DRIVER. Not sure if this guy was drunk or wanted to give the actual injured guy Seeds a bit
A big first time entrant on to this list to get things cracking. Someone we all rely on – either in the past, present, or potentially in the future. Someone who is always there with us in the good times and the bad; wowing us with 150’s and disappointing us with -3’s. Thats right, i’m
After a preseason that was as thick and long as Ron Jeremy, we are finally back into the footy! Yes! And with a new season comes a whole new bunch of injuries and re-used jokes (Exhibit A – Ron Jeremy, I didn’t even make it through the first sentence oy yoi yoi. It’s gonna be
Gun – Clayton Oliver 2018 AVG: 109AF | 114.6SC I think going into this season, people knew he was once again going to be an absolute monster, but had some question marks around the stability of his shoulders. Shoulders are the most complex joint in our body, and having two reconstructions in the off-season should
Gun – James Sicily 2018 Avg: 95.5AF | 105SC I love when someone’s an absolute jet in both SC and AF, because it makes my job writing about them about 1000 times easier. That’s exactly what Sicdawg is. After starting his career in the forward half, yoda aka. Clarko threw him into defence and he
